Eerie Legends, Creaky Engineering & Why Classic Car Insurers Take Notice

There are more spine-tingling legends than haunted houses... There are plenty of spine-tingling legends on four wheels in the UK.

Whether it's their scary names or their terrifying styling, or the sheer horror of trying to keep them on the road, here are Britain's scariest 'classic'(?) cars.

While some products are ghostly by design, others have a reputation for being ghoulish, especially when it comes to reliability. We've warned you...

1. Rolls-Royce and the Ghostly Fleet

Before we get to the real horror... here's an iconic marque that actually wants to sound haunted. Ghost, Wraith, and Phantom are all Rolls-Royces that hint at the supernatural.

Not by accident, either. The tradition began in 1906 with the Silver Ghost, which was characterised by a smooth, whisper-quiet ride. It was said to be so silent, it was “like a ghost.” And the tradition stuck.

2. Pure panic with the Reliant Robin

There can be no talk of scares without acknowledging the Reliant Robin.

British pride and precariousness are well known characteristics of this plucky three-wheeler.

The 1970s saw the arrival of this fibreglass, one-wheeled vehicle that wobbled into the hearts of the public and hospitals.

We're including it here because few cars are as visually entertaining and genuinely terrifying to drive. Is it unreliable?

Just make sure your will is up-to-date before you take a corner at speed.

But is it iconic? Without a doubt…

3. The Austin Allegro: A Classic Case of 'What Were They Thinking’

A special place in our scary car hall of fame belongs to the Austin Allegro. This is not because of its looks (though those are nice too), but because it could have been so much more.

Developed by British Leyland in 1973 (need I say more), it promised innovation and style. In its place, we got square steering wheels, rattling trim, and a reliability record that wasn't impressive.

As a result, it is our choice for peak unreliability, and for that reason, we kind of love it.

The Allegro may have been a nightmare for drivers, but it’s a dream for this list.

There was of course the unbelievable Allegro Vanden Plas, complete with its massive, gothic Rolls-Royce-esque radiator, for the ultimate horror! Is it so ugly that it's beautiful?

4. Jaguar XJ220: Terror in the Fast Lane

The Jaguar XJ220 was expected to be a 220mph V12 masterpiece when it was revealed. In its place came a V6 that was expensive and angered buyers.

It was the beginning of lawsuits, a crashing market, and a reputation that still divides petrolheads.

 While it looks fantastic today, the behind-the-scenes drama was the stuff of high-speed horror stories.  

Last but not least...

5. The Ford Scorpio: The Marty Feldman of luxury saloons

Now for a different kind of terror. Until this day, the Ford Scorpio, particularly the facelifted version from the mid-1990s, haunts design students.

The bulging frog-like headlights, the gaping grille, and the melted jelly shape made it look like something you'd find under your bed rather than a luxury saloon.

In fairness, it was comfortable and well-equipped. Nevertheless, the styling remains... er... divisive.

What do you think?

Although this is by no means a definitive list of doom, it is our own, and we hope that it will inspire you to think about your own entries.

While you're at it, though, as Nick Ross used to conclude 'Crime Watch'...  ‘Please don’t have nightmares!’